Hemm Cup-Memorial Day Addition...

We decided this year's Hemm Cup (Our family Olympics) should be played on Memorial Day weekend in hopes for cooler weather.  It was 92 degrees yesterday, but don't we look so cute in our red shirts.  After last year's Minute To Win It debacle, we agreed on some hardcore sports for this year's Cup!  LET THE GAMES BEGIN! 


We let my sister and her husband out of the competition again this year because she is all focused on this little cutie and refused to play, but next year that won't fly, so your time out of The Cup is limited so gear up for next year! 

First Event:  Soccer

Chosen By The Domination (That's Us)

We loaded up the soccer balls and water bottles and headed out to the fields.  This year we even had spectators.  Next year we are charging admission.  Every team played each other, first to five or a ten minute game, we were all huggin' our knees, and holdin' our sides.  After it was all said and done, The Domination took first, The FB's took second, Team Kenolly and Team JoBee tied for third.  I thought they should've gone to penalty kicks, but they decided to split the points...LAME!   

Second Event:  Running

Chosen By Team JoBee

After soccer we loaded up and headed over to a local Track for a dang running race.  Each team was timed.  One partner started on one side of the track while the other was stationed opposite to be tagged in.  One of the FB's had hurt his back so he had an alternate in my cute niece Anna.  It wasn't the bald one, but the old one.  So we began.  I just have to tell you Hot Husband has WHEELS.  The guys can literally fly.  It is one of the many reasons he is one HOT DUDE!  First place was stolen from JoBee by the Domination, Team Kenolly got second, JoBee got third, leaving the FB's to get last! 

We then Inter missioned for lunch at my sister's house.  We ate a few turkey sandwiches while talking crap to one another

Third Event: Swimming

Chosen By Team Kenolly (The Defending Hemm Cup Champs) 

We had to sneak into the YMCA to swim in their pool.  The rule followers we all married were unimpressed with the daunting task of sneaking in, but the rule breakers (Hemm Kids) led the way.  Once inside the pool, we each did one stroke, tagging our teammate in.  Kenolly took first, The Domination took second, JoBee took third, The FB's took fourth.   

Final Event: Tennis

Chosen By The FB's

All we had to do to win was at least come in third place in Tennis and The Cup and all the bragging rights for a year would be ours once again.  We headed over to the Tennis Courts and played it up.  The FB's rule at tennis and annihilated everyone.  Kenolly took second, The Domination took third, and Team JoBee took fourth

WHICH MEANS...

The Domination wins and is now reunited with the trophy....

Ahhhhhhh it's good to be so very athletic....and attractive....and talented....and gifted......and number one....and good looking.....and, well you get the picture.  I wonder how long before everyone stops playing with us because of our awesomeness! 

After The Cup we did what we do best and that was barbeque, drink some beer, and eat some good food! 

The next day we woke up and went to see my brother THE REV preach from the pulpit.  It really is just about being together as a family, laughing, spending quality time together, and loving on all the kiddos! 

(YEAH RIGHT....WE WON! BOOOOYAAAAA!) 

All because two people fell in love....


My family is awesome! 

Last Day of School...

Today is the last day of school.  How they have grown.  Tomorrow I will have a Kindergartner and a Preschooler.  I have to log off now to sob into my pillow.  The days are long, but the years are short.  It is so true. 

Hoping everyone has a fab summer!  We have lots of adventures planned! 

-Katie

Mama vs. Scooby Doo

　

Everyday Luke and I battle over the television. He starts his mornings begging and pleading to watch a show (or ten). “No,” I’m constantly saying to him, “We don’t watch television first thing in the morning…stop asking kid!” And I don’t know if it is just a boy thing or not, but Maddy never pleaded to watch television. She will watch it if its on, but she is good at entertaining herself on her own. If she does watch some telly she is just as happy with it on something educational as she is when it's just smut….Not Luke!

Recently the kids received a Scooby Doo DVD and have been watching the Scooby Doo cartoon….thanks Hot Husband…NOT! All day Luke whines for Scooby. I have to tell you, I’m not a fan of Scooby, there is not one iota of educational value in that show. Scooby has led to other horrible shows to pop up on the idiot box. Kung Fu Panda, Penguins of Madagascar, and other brain cell diminishing shows. UGH!

Up until about 6 months ago we only watched educational programming. Sesame Street, Dora, Between the Lions, Super Why, you know, age appropriate things. Luke came home from school the other day begging to see The Avengers, “Are you out of your mind kid?” I asked him. “That is rated PG-13 and you are 3!” He responded with, “But pooh pooh pants (anonymous name of kid from school) at school got to see it with his dad,” he whined. I was all, “I’m not pooh pooh pants’ mother, I’m your mother and you are NOT going!” And then I got to thinking. For Real! Are there really parents out there who take their kids to see this crap when they are only three? I mean, Hollywood has deemed it inappropriate for any child under the age of 13 to see it, and that is Hollywood’s standards. HOLLYWOOD. You know that same Hollywood that has the morals and values of a promiscuous slug!

Research is clear that children under the age of ten cannot distinguish between something that is real and something that is fake in regards to violence on television and movies. Whether they tell you they can or not. Their brain turns from learning mode to survival mode, which is not conducive to learning. They literally think the bad guy is outside their window trying to get in. It is literally as bad as starving your child. STARVING! So, all you genius parents taking your 3 year olds to PG-13 movies, go ahead and say goodbye to that doctorate you wanted your child to get, they will be lucky to get past the fifth grade with the violence you deem appropriate to show them on television. But that isn’t even the part that makes me mad. Pooh pooh pants is YOUR kid and if you want to show him severed limbs and decapitations before he can even shit in the toilet then be my guest. It makes me mad because your kid goes to school and brags that his parents took him to see the latest Jenna Jamison porn flick and then MY kid comes home begging to see it too.

I’m not naive. I get it. I know I can’t bubble my kids forever, but I sure as hell can bubble them when they are three and five. And guess what…YOU SHOULD TOO. There will be time in the future for all the inappropriate television you want to share together. By all means pull out American Pie before he leaves for college and share a laugh, but don’t watch it together when he is seven because you are setting him up for failure. Just because a PG-13 movie dresses up in hero masks doesn’t mean you should let your toddler take part. Buy him the shirt, buy him the figures, let him play Batman vs. Iron man outside in the back yard, but don’t let him watch the movie.

Here are a few other PG-13 movies you might let your kids watch:

The Break-up - Dancing naked women and sex jokes….seems appropriate for a three year old

Coyote Ugly - Again, dancing naked women

The Ring 2 - A horror movie, dead people coming back to life to kill you…sounds pretty good

Alien vs. Predator - make sure you put his pull up on for this one, he will need it.

Easy A - Comedy about sex

Taken - A movie where a young girl is taken and sold as a sex slave

　

PG-13, Come on friends, you are supposed to protect them, so protect their innocent minds and hearts from the violence on the Silver screen.

In the meantime I will be telling Luke for the 100^th time today that NO, he cannot watch Scooby Doo more than once and that he needs to venture outside and play, you know, like he is three or something.

PEACE!

　

Thunder Up!

We are cheerin' on some Thunder all up in this hizzy!  Hot Husband and I have permanent dark circles under our eyes because the games start SO LATE! 

Maddy's favorite player is Russell Westbrook (Even though he is a baby, he is a player) The only reason she likes him is because she thinks he is a girl and his name is Brooke Western!  Hilarious.  We had to get her some gear to cheer on Brooke Western! 

Luke's favorite player is Kevin Durrant!  Of course, KD is a stud and such a nice guy!  We heart him! (Don't worry Luke is such a baller he can dunk with his teeth...BOOM)   

Don't forget James Harden: fear that beard!  Serge Ibaka is my favorite because I think my husband looks like him and he is throwin' Block parties all up in yo FACE!

GO THUNDER!   

Mother's Day...

If this video of Maddy singing to me doesn't make you cry, just a little, then there is a black, cold, hard stone where your heart should be! 

I hope you celebrate the Moms in your life this week.  As for me I will be sleeping in, demanding my favorite foods, getting a back rub (and only a back rub) from Hot Husband, reading a book, taking a nap, and basically doing nothing....glorious! 

Happy Mother's Day

Experience my Wrath...

I try to keep my wrath in check. Those people who have experienced my wrath first hand will attest to it being something they never want to encounter again. For the most part I’m a fun loving, slightly high maintenance, girl who enjoys life, but if you attack my children, you will experience my wrath and it will not be pretty.
 

Maddy is coming off the pink eye. Pink eye for her is a nightmare. She wears contacts. Her contacts are specially made just for her and we drop a lot of quan on her eyecare. So we can’t just throw some drops in her eyes and send her back to school like we would Luke. She has been in her back up, aphakic, glasses for a week now. These glasses are thick. Maddy doesn’t have natural lenses, so without her contacts, of course she needs thick glasses to accommodate her vision. The glasses are old. She has had them since she was about 18 months old. They are too small, scratched, and heavy. We need new ones.

We hopped in the car on Monday and headed over to a local eye care store’s optical shop. One we are familiar with. Maddy had her glasses on. We walked in. There were about four patients waiting to be seen. A couple receptionists manning the front desk. We asked to see someone about getting Maddy some new glasses. A rather large woman in her late fifties came sauntering out of the back. She started laughing…..at Maddy and her glasses. Yep, you read that right. “Goodness little girl those are some thick glasses,” she cackled, “Oh my goodness, what is your name?!” The laughing continues. Maddy looks at her and says, “My name is Maddy.” In my head I’m not sure she understands. I say, “Ma’am, our daughter doesn’t have lenses in her eyes. That is why her glasses are so thick.” The hyena continued to laugh. Hot Husband handed her our daughter’s prescription. The overweight hyena doubled over in laughter when she saw the numbers on the prescription. I. HIT. THE. ROOF!

“How dare you laugh at a visually impaired little girl! You need to be fired!” At this point I forget what came out of my mouth next because I’m certifiably insane and need to be committed. I yelled at the front desk that the hyena needed to be fired, that an establishment that would hire such a vile person who would point and laugh at someone’s disability should be shut down. I was so loud that the doctors from the back rooms started sticking their heads out to see what was happening. The waiting patients sat in horrified silence as Hot Husband physically lifted me out of the optical shop as I yelled, “This will not be the last you hear from us! We want a formal letter of apology and the laughing hyena woman to wear a large scarlet letter B on her chest for the next six months!”

We get back out to the car. Its palpable, my anger. Hot Husband was mad too, but he has something called self-control, whatever that is. Maddy is so confused. “What happened Mama?!” she asks in her cute little sing-song voice. “Sometimes baby you just have to stand up for what is right. And Daddy and I and you and Luke we stand up to people who are wrong. And that is what I did.” Waiting for her to question me further she shrugged like this answer was acceptable to her and her five year old world. We sit in contemplative silence for a few more block when Maddy says, “Mama, I have another question,” I gear up to have an emotionally charged convo with my daughter about what the words visually impaired and disability mean. I take a breath, “Yes Maddy what is your question?”
 

“Can we stop and get a blue Icee at 7-eleven?”

We all laugh. “Yes, a blue Icee is definitely in order!” Clapping and cheering ensue.

The wrath was unleashed. I’ve shelved it for now, but you’ve been warned!

I think all three of her 'looks' are pretty stinkin' cute! 

-Katie

This is what I've been doing....

Reading these novels....Oh my Gracious they are goooooood! 

In between cooking every meal my kids eat, running to and fro schools, tball games, track practices and meets, getting a root canal...damn caveman diet, going to church, playdates, birthday parties, eye doctor appointments and a million drops for the STINK EYE (pink eye) that has invaded my house. 

Sometimes it is nice to escape and live in someone else's world! 

I recommend both of these books.  The second is the fourth book in the Gone Series.  Just starting up Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy.  I've heard it described to me as mommy porn....BRING IT! 

Have a great week! 

-Katie